When it comes to gender, mental illness doesn’t discriminate. Unfortunately, masculine norms do. The societal rules and expected behavior associated with manhood prevalent in American culture create a barrier for men, preventing them from seeking help for their mental health—or even realizing they may be having issues in the first place. 

Data from the 2020 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) and Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) shows a disparity between women (51.2%) and men (37.4%) with any mental illness (AMI) who receive some form of mental healthcare treatment.

Sadly, this stigma also likely leads to an underdiagnosis of mental illnesses and other mental health issues in men. 

“Mental health issues are often associated with weakness or a character flaw,” explains Alan Fong, Clinical Director of Valera Health. “However, talking about mental health and seeking help takes courage and strength.”

Common Mental Health Issues For Men

The following information about major mental health problems affecting men comes from Mental Health America (MHA). Due to the disparities between men and women seeking mental healthcare/treatment, it’s estimated that numbers and percentages in the following statistics may actually be higher than data that is currently available.

1. DEPRESSION: While the current number of men suffering depression each year is over six million, depression in men often goes undiagnosed. According to MHA, “Men are more likely to report fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, rather than feelings of sadness or worthlessness.”
2. ANXIETY: For American adults ages 18 to 54, approximately 19.1 million have an anxiety disorder. Reportedly, Over three million men suffer from panic disorder, agoraphobia and other phobias.
3. BIPOLAR DISORDER: Currently, 2.3 million Americans are affected by bipolar disorder. An equal amount of both men and women develop bipolar disorder, with the average age of onset for men being from 16 to 25 years of age.
4. PSYCHOSIS & SCHIZOPHRENIA: Schizophrenia is one of the leading causes of disability in the U.S., and 3.5 million people in the country are diagnosed with this illness—the majority of which are men. By age 30, 90% of those diagnosed with schizophrenia are men.
5. EATING DISORDERS: Men make up approximately 10% of patients diagnosed with anorexia and/or bulimia as well as 35% of patients diagnosed with binge-eating disorder. However, these numbers are likely to be higher as men are less likely to seek professional help for eating disorders than women.
6. SUBSTANCE ABUSE: Approximately 1 in 5 men will develop an alcohol dependency during the course of their lives. The alcohol dependency rate is higher in gay and bisexual men, who are more likely to have higher rates of substance abuse than heterosexual men. Regardless of their form of service, male veterans experience nearly twice the rate of alcohol and drug use as women.
7. SUICIDE: The highest rates of suicide in the U.S. are found in caucasian men over the age of 85. Since 2000, male suicide rates have been on the rise. Consequently, suicide is now the 7th leading cause of death among men, accounting for 2.2% of all male deaths in 2011. Suicide rates affect LGBTQ+ men disproportionately. Gay and bisexual men are shown to have an increased risk for suicide attempts when compared to heterosexual men, especially before the age of 25. Over four times as many men in the U.S. die from suicide as women. In 2010, for example, 38,364 Americans died from suicide. Men accounted for 79% of the aforementioned suicide rate. Contributing factors to male suicide rates include—but are not limited to—social isolation, substance abuse, unemployment, military-related trauma (including PTSD), genetic predisposition and mood disorders, according to MHA.

Other Barriers to Treatment

“There are a number of factors why men may experience internal or external barriers to receiving care,” says Fong. “Men may face gender stereotypes and be seen as weak for seeking help. There may also be cultural considerations of masculinity that teach boys and men to minimize their feelings. Among BIPOC communities, mistrust of the medical establishment and the assumption that problems can be resolved within the family system are also huge barriers to treatment.”

“We’ve made great strides in decreasing the stigma of mental health care,” he adds. “But we also have more work to do, especially in meeting the needs of anyone who identifies as a man.”

Providers have to be cognizant that the way symptoms of certain mental illnesses present themselves in men can be different then how they are presented in women.

For example, men exhibiting signs of depression may appear angry or aggressive, rather than sad, an emotion more commonly associated with depression. Depression and anxiety can also manifest as physical symptoms, such as frequent headaches, gastrointestinal or digestive issues, a tightening heart or a racing chest. Men are more likely to go to the doctor for physical symptoms than they are to go to a therapist or psychiatrist for emotional symptoms—meaning the underlying cause behind these physical symptoms may get missed. 

Men may also be less likely to talk about their feelings than women are, since historically, discussing feelings has been stigmatized and not being “manly.”

However, this couldn’t be further from the truth—opening up and being vulnerable isn’t an easy thing to do, and doing so doesn’t make you less of a man. But, discussing your feelings can help you develop emotional strength and emotional intelligence (the ability to manage and understand your own emotions).

Final Thoughts

Help is available, and you are worth it.

Valera Health offers telemental health care services—including therapy, psychiatry and medication management—from expert providers.

Our diverse team of compassionate mental healthcare specialists are highly trained in serving patients of all genders and in communities such as the LGBTQ+ community; children, adolescents and families; those going through difficult transitions of all kinds; those with Serious Mental Illnesses (SMI) such as bipolar I & II, personality disorders and schizophrenia; and much more. 

To learn more, request a free consultation with one of our health connectors or visit valerahealth.com. 

Just as we care for our households, our pets and our physical health, it’s important to also take care of our mental health and wellness. Mental health can present itself in many ways and is unique to each person’s experience. For children and adolescents, understanding and expressing their emotions can be particularly challenging. This especially holds true when there are compounding social stressors out of children’s and teenagers control, such as the COVID-19 pandemic. 

The Truth Behind Youth Mental Health 

According to the National Alliance of Mental Health, “1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-12 experience a mental health disorder each year” and “50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14.”

More severely, “Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 10-34.” As parents and caregivers, it’s important to recognize the signs that your child might be struggling with their mental health and more acutely, knowing what you can do to help. Children and adolescents may be reluctant to share if they are struggling due to fear of embarrassment, feeling there is something wrong with them, or not wanting their parents or caregivers to worry. 

Part of supporting your child with their mental wellness is also fighting against the stigma around mental health, and assuring your child that they are not alone. Resources and support are available.

Warning Signs of Mental Health Issues in Children & Teens

Our clinical team recommends keeping an eye out for the following signs that your child may be struggling with their mental health. It is important to keep in mind that while both children and teens may experience similar symptoms, due to their developmental differences the presentation of these symptoms can appear very differently. 

For example, younger children who are still learning to identify and express their emotions might gravitate more towards behavioral representations of how they feel, such as having temper tantrums. Teens, on the other hand, might experience their feelings on a more global scale, such as questioning their world or feeling a lack of security amongst others.

Children (and teens) may be experiencing an increase in anxiety and depressive symptoms. This can impact their school performance, sleep patterns, eating habits, and their ability to self-regulate their emotions. For instance, some children might present as more hyperactive or become increasingly irritable and present a low mood. 

Additionally, they may have a lower tolerance for stressors, difficulty concentrating on tasks, and report physical ailments such as headaches or stomach aches. In some cases, children might struggle to practice personal hygiene, or they might seem overly obsessive with cleanliness or completing other daily rituals. Lastly, your child may talk about or think about death, or they may make comments such as “I wish I wasn’t here anymore.” Take notice of these statements and seek support if you have concerns. 

Teens may also experience more profound mood changes beyond what is considered developmentally typical. For instance, they may present unusual “highs” and “lows” in their mood for periods of time.

Other symptoms may include:

• Feeling numb (internally and in how they relate to others)
• Thinking or talking about suicide
• Showing increased Isolation from social events or usually preferred activities
• Exhibiting poor decision making
• Exhibiting an increase in risky behaviors—such as misuse of substances, unsafe sexual behavior, limiting food intake, aggression, illicit activities or self-harming
• Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not really there, also known as hallucinations or delusions
• Struggling with navigating their growing independence, which may be impacted by low self-esteem or excessive worrying

How to Support Your Child’s Mental Wellness

Being a parent and caregiver is a big job, but you don’t have to do it alone! There are many tips and tools to help promote mental wellness in your household and supportive mental health professionals are available if needed. Building your awareness of childhood mental health is a great first step. Our clinical team has gathered some helpful tips and tools to support you and your child through this journey.

Talk It Out

Practice talking with your child about their mental health. Part of breaking the stigma that having a mental health condition means there’s something wrong with them involves normalizing your child’s experience and reassuring them that they are not at fault. Create an open, safe space for your child to explore their feelings without fear of shame or judgment. Let your child know that it’s okay to not be okay.

Active Listening 

A big piece of healthy communication also includes actively listening to what the other person is saying. Observe not only what your child is saying out loud, but also take note of their tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and the meaning behind their words. Practice asking open-ended questions, such as “how did that make you feel?” rather than leading questions, such as “did you feel angry when she said that?” 

Show your child that you’re curious and interested in what they have to say. Validate their feelings, even if you don’t personally agree with them. Showing someone that you understand their experience helps to build trust and does not necessarily mean you are condoning any types of behaviors.

Role Model

Parents and caregivers are often the first role models children experience. Practice modeling for your child how to express emotions in a healthy way, including when you feel happy, angry, or sad. Consider talking about your own experiences with your children, such as sharing coping strategies that you have personally found helpful. Let your child see you ask for help, even for the little things, to show them that reaching out to others can be a sign of strength. Practice your own self-care and create a self-care plan for your child.

Routines

Having clear and consistent routines and expectations helps to promote a safe environment for your child. Particularly when there are stressors out of the child’s control, having a predictable daily routine helps to promote healthy habits across the board and mitigates unnecessary worrying. This might include having set meal times, sleep schedules and transition plans, as well as knowing what is allowable and thus what consequences might be put into effect. 

Celebrate Strengths

Highlight your child’s many strengths, even during the hard times. Encourage your child’s talents and skills. Engage them in positive outlets, hobbies and opportunities for social connections. Acknowledge both the good and bad times. Celebrate your child’s accomplishments while also being fair with consequences for misbehavior.

Final Thoughts & Additional Resources

Here are some additional resources with information on mental health risks, warning signs, and available support:

• NAMI — Mental Health Warning Signs & Symptoms
• CDC — Adverse Childhood Experiences
• NAMI — Risk of Suicide

If your child is experiencing challenges with their mental health, consider reaching out for additional support.

Here are some helpful resources that you or your child can use:

• NAMI HelpLine
  • Call #1-800-950-NAMI (6264), text #62640, chat nami.org/help or email HelpLine@nami.org

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Call 800-273-TALK (8255), available 24/7
• Crisis Text Line – Text NAMI to 741-741
  • Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

• National Crisis Text Line- Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org 
  • Connect with a trained crisis counselor. 988 is confidential, free, and available 24/7.

If you feel your child may need to speak with a professional for ongoing care, your primary care provider and/or insurance plan can be a good place to start for referrals. Valera Health also offers telemental health for children and adolescents, including individual therapy and psychiatry services. Visit www.valerahealth.com to or click here to request a consultation.

While technology brings many joys such as connection, funny videos, and unlimited resources, it also presents youth with added social pressures and risks that they may not know how to navigate on their own. Cyberbullying is one type of risk that can have very large impacts on children and adolescents, and can take place virtually anywhere. Your child might be ashamed or afraid to admit if they are being bullied, or they may keep quiet due to not wanting their parents to worry about them. 

Here are some key tips from our clinical team on how to spot signs of bullying and what you as their caregiver can do to help.

Signs Your Child Might Be a Victim of Bullying

Children and teens who are experiencing bullying by their peers might be reluctant to talk about it to others. This can be due to fear, embarrassment, not wanting their parents to worry, low self-esteem, or, in some cases, they may lack the know-how to express themselves. Instead, mental health professionals have found that many children will exhibit “warning signs” that they need help through their behaviors.

Here are some warning signs that your child may be a victim of bullying:

• School refusal or avoidance
• A sudden decrease in academic performance
• Increased isolation from others
• Expressing disinterest in favorite activities
• Low self-confidence
• Self-deprecating statements
• Sudden mood changes
• Frequent reports of physical ailments (like headaches or stomach aches)
• Physical injuries without a clear explanation
• Returning home with damaged or missing belongings

You may also observe your child becoming upset during or after using technology, spending an unusual time online or ceasing internet use altogether, or hiding what they’re doing on the internet when a caregiver is present.

How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying

If you suspect your child may be a victim of cyberbullying or other types of bullying, it is important that you, as their trusted caregiver, help create a sense of safety and openness for communication.

Active listening is an excellent way to show your child that you are present and genuinely care about what they have to say. Reassure your child that you are here to help and let them know the bullying is not their fault. Finding ways to problem solve together can be very empowering for your child.

You might feel that involving the school is the next best step. Talk to your child about your plans and encourage their participation in the process if they are comfortable. Identify other safe adults at school or in their other social environments that they can reach out to for support when needed.

Praise your child for having the courage to tell you about the bullying. Consider connecting your child to a mental health counselor for additional support.

How to Support a Child Who is Bullying Someone Else

Some children or teens who are struggling with their mental health or other life challenges might have a difficult time managing their emotions in social settings. This can impact their ability to connect with others in a socially appropriate and safe way. If you have concerns that your child or teen is acting out aggressively—either verbally or physically towards others—and is engaging in bullying behaviors, it is important to recognize that these behaviors are likely a coverup for bigger emotions, and they too are in need of support from caring adults.

Identify a safe and trusting adult your child might be comfortable talking with. This might be yourself, a close family member, or even a school guidance counselor. Have a discussion around their feelings and the impact of their behaviors on themselves and others. Work on setting clear limits around what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, particularly around maintaining safety for your child and those around them. Practice building empathy. For young children, this might be through play and social stories. For older children, this might look like building insight into their own emotions, fostering positive social connections and promoting a sense of purpose and belonging to their immediate and larger community. Praise your child when they make good, pro-social and empathetic choices. Also consider seeking additional support from a mental health counselor.

Internet Safety

While one’s first instinct might be to limit internet use altogether, clinical experts recommend instead teaching your child to be a responsible internet user. It is important that children learn how to safely navigate social situations, including online social interactions, so they can better develop social, emotional and problem solving skills later in life.

Some helpful tips to practice are:

• Talking to your child about what they are doing on the internet. Your child might be fearful of having their phone or internet privileges taken away if they tell the truth. To help them speak honestly, consider other solutions to address your concerns and keep your child safe without punishment. 
• Develop rules for electronic and internet use. Explore with your child what is acceptable and unacceptable to do on the internet. It’s also important to have a plan in place for if your child experiences or witnesses inappropriate behavior on the internet.
• Educate yourself on the devices and social media platforms your child is using. Assess the pros and cons of these platforms and learn more about what benefits your child may be gaining, as well as what risks are involved. Collaborate with other caregivers and the school for ideas around technology use and what can be done to enhance your children’s safety as a community.

Final Thoughts & Additional Resources

If your child is experiencing challenges with their mental health as a result of bullying or other concerns, consider reaching out for additional support.

Here are some helpful resources that you or your child can use:

• NAMI HelpLine — Call #1-800-950-NAMI (6264), text #62640, chat nami.org/help or email at HelpLine@nami.org
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline — Call 800-273-TALK (8255), available 24/7
• Crisis Text Line — Text NAMI to 741-741
  • Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

• National Crisis Text Line — Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org 

• Connect with a trained crisis counselor. 988 is confidential, free, and available 24/7.

If you feel your child may need to speak with a professional for ongoing care, your primary care provider and/or insurance plan can be a good place to start for referrals. Valera Health also offers telemental health for children and adolescents ages six and up, including individual therapy and psychiatry services. Visit www.valerahealth.com or click here to request a consultation.